Monday, June 02, 2008


"Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, Barbara,
you should have remained a virgin."--Barbara Bush (mother of G.W.)

"I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not
pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.""--Eleanor Roosevelt

"Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever
seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to
withdraw that statement."--Mark Twain

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good
ending; and to have the two as close together as possible."--George Burns

"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year."--Victor Borge

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."--Mark Twain

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."--Socrates

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."--Groucho Marx

"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time
for my nap."--Bob Hope

"I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do
in it."--W.C. Fields

"We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work
its way through Congress."--Will Rogers

"Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older,
it will avoid you."--Winston Churchill

"Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else
starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out."--Phyllis Diller

"By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to
go anywhere."--Billy Crystal



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